Dealing with rude people
There's a reason I'm writing this today. I've had my share of rude people, a.k.a. jerks, in the past few days. I regret to say it, but these people really get to me and make feel upset and frustrated, and sad. They get my heart pumping and I can just feel the anxiety growing inside when someone sends me a rude message. But it's all part of interacting with people, you will come across these types once in awhile.
Why Are People Rude
Oh so many answers to this question. The trouble is we very rarely know why someone is being inconsiderate, impolite and downright mean. But here's a rundown of some of the most common reasons.
- That's just who they are. They treat everyone rudely and have absolutely no regard for other human beings. (These are the jerks)
- At the moment, this person simply does not know how to respond or react to a situation or the proper way to handle a problem.
- They're at the end of their rope. Stress level is very high, for this reason any little annoyance can set them off.
- Something really bad just happened to them and they aren't even thinking about their own behavior. Such as, they just lost their pet.
- It's the only way they know how to survive. They've had so many bad encounters with people, as a result they fire first so they don't get hurt.
- You were rude first. (Yep, this can happen)
Given that only one of these reason means they are truly a jerk, and the others, for the most part, are people having a bad day or bad life. How do we handle them? How do we protect ourselves? What do we do in these situations?
How To Easily Handle Rude People
What can you do in the moment when someone is rude? In most situations being kind is a good idea. You are not a jerk. Also, most likely you don't know their situation. Taking the high road, plus being the "bigger" person feels good and hopefully teaches the "rude" person a lesson.
- Be Kind. - You don't know what's happening in this persons life. There are a lot of people struggling out there. Help them if you can.
- Walk Away. - Yes, ignore people who are just being mean. Don't get in a pissing match with someone like this. It's best to walk away. You can even say something like. I will not engage with someone who behaves this way.
- Wait. - Wait until they are done with their rant. Don't interrupt or talk over anyone. Then if you have a solution to their problem, lay it out nicely and concisely so they understand.
How To Handle Your Feelings
Now you have a few easy ways to deal with people who are being rude. What about your feelings? This person may have hurt your feelings, or made you feel vulnerable or small. Consequently, you may be frustrated, mad and sad for the rest of the day over this. Here are some ideas on how to protect yourself.
- Take a deep breath. - Once away from this person do a breathing exercise to calm your nerves. Take a deep breath, fill every part of your body with this breath, hold for 3 seconds and then very slowly let it out until you can't let anymore air out. Repeat 3 times.
- Stay calm. - Don't join in the drama, focus on keeping your feelings calm in the moment.
- Don't take it personally. - Words can hurt, remember this person is having a moment. Most likely they would not act this way under normal circumstances.
- Let it go. - My mother use to tell me. Let that be like water on a duck and let it off your back. In other words, don't absorb what happened, change your focus onto things that matter.
My hope is when dealing with rude people you will apply some of these tactics and save yourself a lot of grief. Remember that being kind is a great way to disarm a rude person. Also, kindness is a high road that may, in the long run, really help that person through a tough time. And being kind is a reflection of type of person you are. ♥ Kristen